Guide to Talking Dirty During Sex: 107 Tips and Examples

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When you’re in bed with your lover, cuddle up and have an erotic conversation with them. Tell your partner what you’re thinking about, especially if it’s something naughty and dirty. Regular dirty talk can actually change your sex life and even your relationship if it’s something you’re both into. Believe it or not, many couples never engage in dirty talk even though it’s something that turns them both on. When it comes to introducing any new sexual experience or accessory with a partner, Rullo recommends that individuals introduce the topic during non-sexual encounters.

​19. “Stop talking and just do me!”

• It can even be the catalyst for sending a woman into the orgasm she’s been teetering on the brink of for the past 20 minutes.
• It’s a great way to encourage them to give you more of that thing, and also gives your sexual play the added edge of becoming more of a multi-sensory experience.
• Trust us; you’ll elicit the response you want (i.e., driving your lover absolutely wild!).
• Nothing gets a person going quite like a round of dirty text messages or phone sex.
• Something as simple as “I love your body” can get the ball rolling.
• Dr. Jess O’Reilly, resident sexologist for Astroglide, adds that dirty talk is also a great way to build anticipation and cultivate consent—both before and during intimacy.

It’s no surprise how popular sexting has become when you consider how much time the average person spends on their phones, but you can sext via email and other messaging services, too. We also discussed some of the ground rules to make sure you get the most out of talking dirty to your man, so that you don’t accidentally freak him out when you do it and that you talk dirty with confidence. If you want to brush up on these rules and guidelines, then click here to go back to Chapter 1. Sure, we ladies are guilty of sometimes saying off-the-wall things during sex that kill the mood or, at the very least, make us erupt into a fit of giggles. Her merciless partner spent the next hour teasing her about being a creepy stalker.

How do I talk dirty?

We’ve all got the power to explore a new sexual side of ourselves. For some, sexting can be less intimidating than IRL dirty talk. As you can see, dirty talk fantasies are quite common—and there is a rich psychology behind them. Once you’re fully feeling it, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what you want. Take control by giving them instructions on exactly what feels good for you.

Because you will get word-garbled and you will phrase something in a totally awkward way. But any partner worth your time will understand you’re being human and appreciate your willingness to step outside your comfort zone. “Debriefing gives you time to check in about what words you like, talk about what was fantasy vs. what you actually want to try, and more,” says Dr. Stubbs.

“Or maybe she fantasizes about being the dominant one and is afraid to put that on to her guy to do it first, so she tests the waters.” You are responsible for your own behavior, and none of the advice on this website is to be considered legal or medical advice. The information contained on this website is a personal opinion and it should be used for personal entertainments purposes only. Therefore, if you decide to apply any ideas from this website, you are doing so of your own accord, and are taking full responsibility for your actions. Every person has their particular trigger words that feel too jarring for them.

When lovers are apart from one another and physical intimacy is impossible, it can be an important aspect of virtual sex, particularly phone sex and cybersex. Additionally, love talk is more sexual in nature than pillow talk and tends to occur preceding or during rather than following lovemaking. There are so many advantages to talking dirty in a long-distance relationship, and it’s not just the obvious.

Reframing those as opportunities to experiment with things you otherwise would never bother with can be a stimulating way to cope. Again, taking note of what’s off-limits is as important as writing down what you like. “Certain words can feel degrading or not gender-affirming, or just make your skin crawl for whatever reason,” says Horn.

Obviously, you don’t want to do it so much that your partner gets bored of it. But doing it more and more will help you get a lot more comfortable with all the dirty phrases. If you just hone into your shyness, it could actually do you some good.

The thing about dirty talk that’s so tricky is it’s not just dependent on your partner’s individual likes and dislikes — it depends on context, too. “It’s less [about] the vocabulary and more the attitude behind it,” says Meg, 29. “If there’s anger behind the words instead of warmth/playfulness, I dry right up.” MensHealth.com polled 57 women in their 20s and 30s about their dirty talk preferences, and whether or not they’ve changed post-#MeToo. While the vast majority of women, or 92%, said they enjoyed hearing dirty talk during sex, many of the women we surveyed (22%, to be precise) said they viewed dirty talk more negatively post-#MeToo.